Quotes
If I were two-faced, why would I be wearing this one?
  –  Abraham Lincoln 1806 – 1865
What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
  –  Abraham Lincoln 1806 – 1865
After all is said and done, more is said than done.
  –  Aesop  621 BC – 564 BC
Please all, and you will please none.
  –  Aesop  621 BC – 564 BC
Never find fault with the absent.
  –  Alexander Pope  1688 – 1744
Praise undeserved, is satire in disguise.
  –  Alexander Pope  1688 – 1744
A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.
  –  Alexander Pope  1688 – 1744
To be occasionally quoted is the only fame I care for.
  –  Alexander Smith  1830 – 1867
All generalizations are dangerous, even this one.
  –  Alexandre Dumas   1802 – 1870
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
  –  Ambrose Bierce  1842 – 1914
War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
  –  Ambrose Bierce  1842 – 1914
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
  –  Ambrose Bierce  1842 – 1914
When you doubt, abstain.
   –  Ambrose Bierce  1842 – 1914
Creditors have better memories than debtors.
  –  Benjamin Franklin 1706 – 1790
A trifle consoles us, for a trifle distresses us.
  –  Blaise Pascal  1623 – 1662
A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up.
   –  Brigham Young  1801 – 1877
Lotteries, a tax upon imbeciles.
  –  Camillo di Cavour   1810 – 1861
I have cultivated my hysteria with pleasure and terror.
   –  Charles Baudelaire  1821 – 1867
 Vices are sometimes only virtues carried to excess!
  –  Charles Dickens 1812 – 1870
I’d like to grow very old as slowly as possible.
  –  Charles Lamb  1775 – 1834
Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.
  –  Christopher Marlowe  1564 – 1593
The surest test of discipline is its absence.
  –  Clara Barton  1821 – 1912
He who sells what isn’t his’n, Must buy it back or go to prison.
  –  Daniel Drew  1797 – 1879
Heaven sends us good meat, but the Devil sends cooks.
  –   David Garrick  1717 – 1779
What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others.
  –  Diogenes  412 BC – 323 BC
He has the most who is most content with the least.
  –  Diogenes  412 BC – 323 BC
A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.
  –  Elbert Hubbard  1856 – 1915
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
  –  Elbert Hubbard  1856 – 1915
Cleverness is not wisdom.
  –  Euripides  480 BC – 406 BC
A refusal of praise is a desire to be praised twice.
  –  Francois de La Rochefoucauld  1613 – 1680
I drink no more than a sponge.
  –  Francois Rabelais  1494 – 1553
Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders.
  –  Fredrich Nietzsche  1844 – 1900
He that humbleth himself wishes to be exalted.
   –  Fredrich Nietzsche  1844 – 1900
Those who know the least obey the best.
   –  George Farquhar  1677 – 1707
Worry is the interest paid by those who borrow trouble.
  –  George Washington  –  1732 – 1799
I always say beauty is only sin deep.
  –  Hector Hugh Munro  1870 – 1916
Experience is a good school. But the fees are high.
  –  Heinrich Heine  1797 – 1856
How much better it is to be envied than to be pitied.
  –  Herodotus  484 BC – 424 BC
Courtesy is a thin veneer on general selfishness.
  –  Honore de Balzac  –  1799 – 1850
No poems can please or live for long that are written by water drinkers.
   –  Horace  65 BC – 8 BC
Common sense is very uncommon.
  –  Horace Greeley  1811 – 1872
Courage is the fear of being thought a coward.
  –  Horace Smith  1779 – 1893
Forty is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth of old age.
   –  Hosea Ballou  1771 – 1852
I have laid aside business, and gone a’fishing.
  –  Izaak Walton  1593 – 1683
Philosophy is common sense with big words.
  –  James Madison  1751 – 1836
Nobody minds having what is too good for them.
   –  Jane Austen  1775 – 1817
To me, old age is always ten years older than I am. 
–  John Burroughs  1837 – 1921
Dancing is the poetry of the foot. 
–  John Dryden  1631 – 1700
Jealousy is the jaundice of the soul.
  –  John Dryden  1631 – 1700
Beware the fury of a patient man.
  –  John Dryden  1631 – 1700
Jesters do often prove prophets.
    –  Joseph Addison  1672 – 1719
Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.
  –  Joseph Addison  1672 – 1719
It is better to know nothing than to know what ain’t so.
  –  Josh Billings  1818  –  1885
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
  –  Josh Billings  1818  –  1885
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
  –  Josh Billings  1818  –  1885
No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise.
  –  Lewis Carroll  1832 – 1898
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
  –  Lord Byron  1788 – 1824
Modesty is the only sure bait when you angle for praise.
  –  Lord Chesterfield  1694 – 1773
A person should be upright, not be kept upright.
  –  Marcus Aurelius  121 AD – 180 AD
I prefer tongue-tied knowledge to ignorant loquacity.
  –  Marcus Tullius Cicero  106 BC – 43 BC
Imaginary evils are incurable.
  –  Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach  1830 – 1916
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
  –  Mark Twain  1835 – 1910
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
  –  Mark Twain  1835 – 1910
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
  –  Mark Twain  1835 – 1910
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
   –  Mark Twain  1835 – 1910
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
  –  Mark Twain  1835 – 1910
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
  –  Mark Twain  1835 – 1910
All generalizations are false, including this one.
  –  Mark Twain  1835 – 1910
They talk most who have the least to say.
  –  Matthew Prior  1664 – 1721
A learned fool is more a fool than an ignorant fool.
  –   Moliere  1622 – 1673
I have the knack of easing scruples.
  –  Moliere  1622 – 1673
I prefer a pleasant vice to an annoying virtue.
  –   Moliere  1622 – 1673
It infuriates me to be wrong when I know I’m right.
  –  Moliere  1622 – 1673
In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
  –  Napoleon Bonaparte  1769 – 1821
However big the fool, there is always a bigger fool to admire him.
  –  Nicolas Despreaux  1636 – 1711
The dreadful burden of having nothing to do.
  –  Nicolas Despreaux  1636 – 1711
Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.
   –  Nietzsche   1844 – 1900
A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou.
   –  Omar Khayyam  1048 – 1131
A true friend stabs you in the front. 
–  Oscar Wilde  1854 – 1900
Alas, I am dying beyond my means.
  –  Oscar Wilde  1854 – 1900
Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.
  –  Oscar Wilde  1854 – 1900
Illusion is the first of all pleasures.
  –  Oscar Wilde  1854 – 1900
Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
–  Oscar Wilde  1854 – 1900
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
   –  Oscar Wilde  1854 – 1900
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
  –  Oscar Wilde  1854 – 1900
Every crowd has a silver lining.
   –  P. T. Barnum  1810 – 1891
Nothing wilts faster than laurels that have been rested upon.
–  Percy Shelley  1792 – 1822
Who naught suspects is easily deceived.
  –  Petrarch  1304 – 1374
Poetry is truth in its Sunday clothes.
  –  Philbert Joseph Roux  1780 – 1854
Reason and love are sworn enemies.
  –  Pierre Corneille  1606 – 1684
I much prefer a compliment, even if insincere, to sincere criticism.
  –  Plautus  255 BC – 185 BC
“He means well” is useless unless he does well. 
  –  Plautus 255 BC – 185 BC
Man is the inventor of stupidity.
  –  Remy de Gourmont  1858 – 1915
Those that vow the most are the least sincere.
  –  Richard Sheridan  1751 – 1816
The devil’s name is dullness.
  –  Robert E. Lee  1807 – 1870
Death is only a larger kind of going abroad.
  –  Samuel Butler  1835 – 1902
It is tact that is golden, not silence.
   –  Samuel Butler  1835 – 1902
He is not only dull in himself, but the cause of dullness in others.
  –  Samuel Foote  1720 – 1777
Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.
  –  Seneca  4 BC – 65 AD
Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune.
  –  Thomas Fuller  1608 – 1661
Choose a wife rather by your ear than your eye.
  –  Thomas Fuller  1608 – 1661
Where ignorance is bliss, ‘Tis folly to be wise.
  –  Thomas Gray  1716 – 1771
To advise conceited people is like whistling against the wind.
  –  Thomas Hood  1799 – 1845
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
  –  Thomas Moore  1779 – 1852
A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil.
  –  Victor Hugo  1802 – 1885
Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.
  –  Victor Hugo  1802 – 1885
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.
  –  Voltaire  1694 – 1778
Common sense is not so common.
  –  Voltaire  1694 – 1778
Froth at the top, dregs at bottom, but the middle excellent.
  –  Voltaire  1694 – 1778
A fool must now and then be right, by chance.
  –  William Cowper  1731 – 1800
Remorse, the fatal egg that pleasure laid.
   –  William Cowper  1731 – 1800
To keep your secret is wisdom; to expect others to keep it is folly.
  –  William Samuel Johnson  1727 – 1819
A fool and his words are soon parted.
  –  William Shakespeare  1564 – 1616
Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.
  –  William Shakespeare  1564 – 1616
If music be the food of love, play on.
  –  William Shakespeare  1564 – 1616
The sweetest of all sounds is praise. 
–  Xenophon  431 BC – 354 BC